Spice Up Your Life: Part 1
A Halloween Short Story
Disclaimer: The events depicted in the following paragraphs are true. To protect the identity of the individuals involved, some names and places might have been changed.
I. MAMA
In 1997, my mom went to a Halloween party as a Spice Girl, and I had the picture to prove it. The picture had sat on my desk since I returned from Kelowna. My mom in 1997, with four other girls. She laughed, enjoying herself. The picture differed from anything Dad had in the box with her pictures in the basement. It hurt to see her in the past out of reach, but I couldn't look away.
The picture depicted my mother. She enjoyed a Halloween party dressed in a leopard-print halter jumpsuit with a neckline cut open almost to the navel. The black bra showed peeking. Her hair had been big round mass of golden-brown curls, worn loose around her face and shoulders.
It soothed me to watch the photograph. The woman I barely remembered enjoyed campus life the same way as any other girl on the same campus I was.
II. SOMEBODY'S WATCHING ME
"The Swimming Team is hosting a Halloween Party on October 4th." Raven announced during breakfast at Baldy Hall. Her shiny lilac on a lazy ponytail framed her face, making it look effortless. We were trying to put our fight in the past, and I glanced up as she read the email.
"Proper Halloween Party. Yamnuska Hall. Tickets are on sale and there are prizes at the door and a small award ceremony for the best costumes."
"Cool. But why Halloween party on October 4th? Seems early." I asked.
"Camden said because it gives the opportunity for people to return their costumes to Spirit Halloween since the actual holiday is on the 31st. I told him that's sketchy but he grinned and made some excuse about late stage capitalism." Raven explained and sipped her coffee. "Whatever that means. Don't make me discuss with Camden this early."
"I'm actually surprised Halloween is allowed." I said as my gaze focused on my twin brother sitting a few tables away from me with his friends before class, he told a story to Milla and his friends gesturing with his hands. He waved at me.
"Well, it's not an official holiday like the Cataclysm Memorial or REDACTED HOLIDAY. Other academies frown upon celebrating Halloween. Here in... REDACTED ACADEMY NAME is allowed with some conditions."
"What conditions?"
"Don't be culturally insensitive."
"Ah, that's fair. Common sense." I said. “Like don’t appropriate cultures?”
"Yeah, no. The other type of cultural insensitivity. What the REDACTED ACADEMY NAME board says is that keep Halloween respectful of the magical creatures too."
“Buenas buenas mamacitas” Oriana chimed in as she set her tray beside mine. Her glasses were a bit crooked this morning. “I’m so tired, I’m not ready for Sigils today.”
"What does that mean?" Raven turned to Oriana raising an eyebrow.
"Good morning beautiful ladies." I translated for her. Oriana gave me a big kiss on my cheek.
"Hey Ori” I said. “So Raven, what does being respectful of magical creatures on Halloween mean?”
“Ah, yes! No dressing up as a witch, ghost, vampire, werewolf, fae..." Raven listed every single costume that could cause an infraction for being culturally insensitive in the Magical Realm, which ended up being more than half the catalogue of a traditional Halloween store in Calgary. Yikes.
"Well... That makes Halloween extra hard around these parts." I said.
"Please, having witches with crooked noses, green skin and a pointy hat is like having a costume of a non-arcane human dying of the plague from perfectly preventable diseases." Oriana said. "Not accurate."
"About that, some people die of preventable diseases in the year of our lord REDACTED YEAR." I said.
“Right, non-arcanes are dumb.” Oriana said.
“Well, there’s a myriad of explanations for people dying from preventable diseases.” My grimoire buzzed on the table, joining the conversation. “Access to health care is limited in certain parts of Earth. Lack of education, misinformation, social class also play a role. It’s beyond being dumb, Oriana.”
“Dude! We don’t need a lecture now.” I reminded my grimoire. "But also REDACTED GRIMOIRE NAME is right."
"Yeah, but it's beyond that. What about that stupid shit about witches riding brooms?" Oriana said while holding her perfect buttered bagel. "Why would anyone ride a broom? That shit sounds uncomfortable and makes no sense.”
“Oh! I have a perfect explanation for that." My grimoire chirped. "Did you know the broomstick shows up in the mid-1400s in Europe at the same time, the ideas about witches were hardening into the concept of a satanic conspiracy. It got associated with the Night Flight."
"Ok, I'll bite." Oriana leaned over the table. "Night flight?"
"Stories of women flying at night and those are much older than the broom. The Canon Episcopi dismisses as a delusion the belief that women rode through the night on beasts alongside the goddess Diana. Early on, the Church treated night flight as a fantasy. By the 1400s, theologians had decided the Devil could make it real, and that change is what turned flight into evidence against accused witches."
"But it's not remotely related to how our magic works." Oriana said. “Thanks for the facts, Wikipedia!”
"My name is not Wikipedia, Emma gave me a proper name. Please refer to me as REDACTED GRIMOIRE NAME" My grimoire said.
"Magical Siri is right." Raven said. "Those myths and poor understanding of magic are what the Old Council hide magic from non-arcanes during the post-cataclysm era."
"Hey, I haven't finished." My grimoire chirped louder.
"Alright, alright. Go on!" I said knowing how sensitive my grimoire was when interrupted in the middle of a trivial lore dump.
"Why the Broom?" The grimoire used a mysterious voice before responding to the rhetorical question. "It was a common household object linked to women, and accused witches were mostly women."
"See? It's the Patriarchy." Oriana pointed a finger at the sky.
"It also fits the flying ointment. Fifteenth-century writers claimed witches rubbed a salve on a staff before riding it. Historians suspect the salve had some hallucinogenic plants. There's no consensus in that." The grimoire returned to its lecture mode. "Later, printing, artists and demonology books kept the idea of witches and brooms in circulation. Then Halloween cards and films cemented this idea, plus the pointy hat."
“Or what about the idea of using a cauldron to make a magic potion? That's silly and outdated. Carbon steel receptacles and glass beakers work fine for Alchemy." Oriana said.
"Alright. Back to the costumes. So, what's left then?" I asked.
"Anything else! Non-arcanes, objects, concepts. Go wild!"
"Non-arcanes humans are my favorite costumes." Oriana said. "Last year, I went as a stressed accountant. No one got it. My aunt Yolanda, who is an accountant, appreciated it. This year, I'm doing something more iconic, like Taylor Swift during her reputation era."
"Or why don't we coordinate a group costume?" I proposed innocently. "Aim for that prize."
"Yes!" Oriana clapped excitedly. "Emma can be Taylor Swift at the Red Era. Raven can be the Folklore Era and Samantha..."
"Samantha can be Taylor at that era with the Anti-Hero song." I smiled.
"Midnights!" Oriana said. "But I thought you would prefer to coordinate a couple's costume with your favorite Alchemy TA."
"What? No!" I said. "Also, he's not my TA anymore. New semester, new alchemy section. Also, I don't think he likes Halloween."
"Someone is making excuses." Oriana winked at Raven.
"I'm not making excuses. Hey, he's not the appropriate person for me if I want to win the Halloween contest."
"What does that mean?" Oriana asked, her eyes stared into my soul searching for the truth.
"Nothing? Stop pestering me!" I said and focused intently on my empty plate.
"Coño mami," Oriana's voice went higher. "Someone's got her panties on a bunch. Esa cara es de guevo, chama. Se nota que el TA te está dando hasta con el tobo."
"Oriana, why you gotta be so vulgar?" I gasped in mock offense. Heat crawled up my neck. My mind trying not to conjure any visuals at all. No one giving me anything, no guevos, especially not him, nothing. "I'm not translating that."
"I know this one. It's something about cocks?" Raven asked. I had to control myself from laughing out of control. Oriana moved on to possible group costumes after Raven said she wasn't sure about cosplaying as Taylor Swift. Several ideas flew around the table: M&Ms where each of us would be a different color or the Care Bears using hoodies. Raven shut her idea down by how low effort and ordinary it was.
"You are naughty today, Raven. Not proposing ideas and vetoing everything I say." Oriana said.
"I have standards even if I don't know what I want."
III. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
“I have an idea for a group costume,” I offered. Raven and Oriana turned around, their attention fully on me. “What about we go dressed as the Spice Girls?”
“What’s that?” Oriana asked. “I’m intrigued. Is it like dressing up as an actual spice? Oh, that's neat. I want to be Cumin, a staple in Venezuelan food. Emma can be Cayenne Pepper. And Raven, you definitely can be Montreal Chicken Seasoning.”
“Why I gotta be Montreal Chicken Seasoning?”
"I don't know, it's harmless." Oriana said and waved behind me. "Hey Sam!—And Samantha can be... Sesame."
"I approve. I always prefer Black Sesame. Thank you for not assigning me to be the Chinese Five-Spice." Samantha showed up beside me with her tray. Her face showed signs of tiredness, typical. "I wouldn't mind being Garlic or... Celery Salt."
“That sounds fun!” my grimoire buzzed from the table. “Can I also have a spice costume? I always wanted to be cardamom.”
The nonsense from my friends was getting out of hand. I had to intervene now.
“No! Wait! The Spice Girls not spices and herbs. Spice Girls! The non-arcane Britpop group!” I said.
“Ah, I don’t know who they are?” Oriana scratched her head. I pulled out from my bag the picture from my mom’s Halloween.
"My mom wore a costume inspired by the Spice Girls in 1997. I thought it might be a nice tribute to her."
Oriana narrowed her eyes, and Raven moved closer. Samantha forgot her breakfast to examine the picture with Raven and Oriana.
"That's a lovely idea. I won't veto this one." Raven said.
My attention focused momentarily on the photo, and I registered better the rest of the girls. I recognized a lovely girl with ponytails and blonde hair, Baby Spice. Another girl with a black dress and heels, Posh Spice. A girl with a tracksuit and a tight ponytail, Sporty Spice. And Ginger Spice, the tallest girl of all of them, blurry and almost out of the frame. Black shades, a union jack dress, a terrible wig, pale muscular legs that ended in a pair of standard-issued black military boots. Ginger Spice's face was almost at the edge of the frame.
"Your mom... is this weird lady?" Oriana said, pointing out at Ginger Spice. She had also found Ginger Spice peculiar.
"No, I don't know who that is." I laughed. "My mom is this one." I pointed at the woman with the leopard-print halter jumpsuit.
"I didn't know your mama was Black. Oh damn!" Oriana said.
"Yeah, Ori. I find it weird going around with a sign that says: Biracial person here, white passing because of white dad with red hair, but I have my mom's smile."
"Yeah sorry. Totally weird if you think about it. I'm surprised, that's all."
"I'm full of surprises." I said.
"Did I say something awkward? I'm sorry." Oriana said, getting flustered. “I totally get it. Some people find hard to believe I’m Latina because I’m five-eleven. I didn't mean to imply you can't be Black.”
"I'm not black, Oriana," I said. "Look at me."
"I mean... Halsey is half-black even though she's white-passing." Oriana said.
"Oh no, Oriana has gone into a race rabbit-hole. Quick, someone talk about dicks or the swimming team." Samantha said making Raven laugh.
"Fuck you, I'm trying to be an educated person talking about social, race, identity and societal issues."
"Oriana!" I gasped. "You told Samantha, who's Chinese, to fuck herself?"
"No! That's not what I meant. She interrupted me to tease me."
"I did." Samantha nodded with a smile. "Oriana, I love you. You know that?"
"Verga, que peo." Oriana's cheeks went instantly red. "Mamense un guevo todas."
"What did she say? Not a Venezuelan slur? Those can be problematic" Samantha was trying not to laugh at Oriana being flustered. On days like these, I wasn't sure if knowing Spanish was a blessing or a curse.
"That we can suck a dick. Although I'm not sure if we are all supposed to suck the same one or each gets assigned a different one." I said.
"Ladies, can we elevate this conversation and stop talking about penises?" Raven sighed.
"Says the person who's officially getting dick from the boyfriend." Oriana muttered. "Comiendo en frente de los pobres, le dicen."
Before Raven could come up with a snarky response to Oriana, I steered back the conversation to the Halloween party.
"Ok, since we have agreed on a group Halloween costume. I'll be Ginger Spice, the one with the red hair. Any objections?"
"Why not go as your mom going as the lady with a leopard-print suit? It would be a great tribute." Raven said.
"Scary Spice?" I said.
"You kidding?" Oriana raised an eyebrow. "Emma, with red hair and leopard print is going to look like Peggy Bundy from that tv show Married With Children. Which would make the Alchemy TA be... Al Bundy. I'm dead and buried."
"I don't think so," Samantha scoffed. "The only Bundy that REDACTED ALCHEMY TA can be is Ted Bundy."
"Is that another obscure non-arcane reference?" Raven asked.
"Not obscure!" My grimoire chirped to life once again. "Ted Bundy, unrelated to fictional character Al Bundy, was an American Serial Killer who..."
"Okay, thanks. We don't need more lore dumps." I groaned.
"No lore dump! I was going to actually offer my opinion. I won't be silenced and bullied by four young women." The grimoire lowered its voice. "I was gonna make a joke about how you always joke with REDACTED ALCHEMY TA about him being secretly a serial killer going after you."
"I thought you didn't listen to my conversations! You... treacherous device! Is there no privacy anymore?"
"The grimoire probably knows the tea." Oriana snickered.
"I listen to your conversations to serve you better and cater to your expectations," the grimoire said. "But you can be assured, I don't store sensitive information long-term in my pages. I have an advanced protocol that ensures the information you share with me is classified. I also have an automated spell protocol to go dormant as soon as you are showing signs of needing privacy."
"Signs of needing privacy? I'm disturbed." Samantha said. "Grimoires know if we are about to bone? I'm encasing my grimoire in an assembly circle from now on."
Oriana offered her opinions too. Raven laughed at the absurdity of it all. Samantha moved farther away from the grimoire. Eventually, Raven made us return to the conversation.
"To be fair, I don't see anything wrong with Emma being... Scary Spice?"
"Forget it, I don't want to be awkward talking about race like Oriana. I'm not dressing as the only black woman in a girls group. I'd take my chances with Ginger Spice."
"You certainly can do a better job than this poor girl." Oriana laughed, pointing at Ginger Spice in Halloween 1997.
"The 90s were not forgiving. I'd give you that." I said.
Samantha said she could be Sporty Spice as long as she could borrow any of my cute sports bras. Oriana fought half an hour with Raven about who should be Posh Spice and Baby Spice. Raven ended up being Posh Spice, but refusing to hide her hair under a black wig. Oriana promised she would ask her roommate, Marjani, if she wanted to be Scary Spice after accepting being Baby Spice.
IV. LATINA FOREVA
“I don't get it. How come you know about Married With Children and not about the Spice Girls?” I poked Oriana after she finished her breakfast. She winked at me.
“Bebita, that’s a long story,” she sighed and looked beyond our table.
“We still have time before class.” I leaned over the table.
“Fine, fine. I’ll tell you the story. You know my car?”
“Yeah, red Mitsubishi Lancer, missing a door handle and plays Karol G on repeat.” I pulled up all the info I had from her car.
“The reason is missing a door handle, and that it plays Karol G on repeat is related.” She whispered. Oriana had gone in one of her moods, mysterious and unpredictable. I loved those.
“Ori, did you take Concerta today?” Raven asked without looking as she texted Camden asking for tickets for the Halloween Party.
“Yes. Fuck you too. Emma asked me for a story, I’m telling her my story.” Oriana adjusted her glasses.
“Focus Oriana! The story about Married with Children”
“Well, that. So I dated this pendejo for a year. From Calgary, he was Venezuelan like me. We would see each other at other Venezuelan events and we started dating.”
“She definitely took Concerta today. She’s not stopping at three different threads to explain how Venezuelan events work.” Samantha snickered.
"Shut up, so Juan Carlos used to always playing re-runs of Casado Con Hijos, the Spanish dub of Married With Children. I have no idea why he liked it so much. He had to watch that show always, noise in the background and once in a while laughing about some lines."
"That was your red flag, Ori." I said.
"I should have known. He cheated on me. We got into this big fight, a lot of swearing was exchanged. And I know I'm not supposed to hex innocent bystanders with magic. I know that magic has to be kept secret, but I was so pissed." Oriana's cheeks flushed. "We had a whole argument at the Chinook mall parking lot, inside my car during a snowstorm in December."
"Oh baby girl, I'm so sorry." Raven shook her head.
"I hexed him. But it bounced back, and I fried my car. Juan Carlos barely noticed anything. He opened the door and left for the c-train station, fuming and saying I was being unreasonable, the nerve. And on my way home, while I cried on Glenmore Trail during rush hour..."
"Damn girl, crying on rush hour on Glenmore Trail is cursed. And a snowstorm?" Samantha frowned and leaned closer to embrace Oriana.
"I noticed the music kept looping the same Album, Mañana Será Bonito by Karol G. When I got home, I couldn't get out of the car. The hex tightened the door handle, and the volume was so loud, Mami came to the driveway and started yelling: Oriana Isabel, te vas a quedar sorda, bájele a la música. I asked for help and mami understood I was in trouble. She helped me and tried to unlock the door. Don't mess with Tatiana Carvajal, my mom. The door handle broke in her hand and the car died. It could have been worse."
"Oh shit. No way!" I said.
"You are so lucky you didn't get a follow-up from REDACTED GOVERNMENT ENTITY about magical use on a non-arcane." Samantha sighed.
"Yeah, I guess I'm lucky that the hex hit my car and not Juan Carlos. I'd be probably be in REDACTED REFORMATION PLACE or who knows." Oriana nodded. "Anyways, like mami says, at least that passed. It's great. I love Karol G, the hex has been considerate enough to update to the new albums from Karol G. I have been enjoying Tropicoqueta a lot. And the door handle it's s security feature, no one can open the car to steal it without a door handle."
"Halloween feels so insignificant after this anecdote." I said hugging Oriana, I knew how much she craved physical touch from loved ones. She smlled.
"Don't be ridiculous. It's fine. It's a funny anecdote." Oriana said, not really sure what she considered funny from it. "Should we hit Value Village after class and find our costumes?"
"Sounds like a plan." I said. Oriana and I headed to Sigils. Raven and Samantha had Ethics.
Once settled in the lecture hall, my mind went back to that picture from Halloween 1997. I wondered about mom. What would she say if she were here today? I would ask her about that party, if she had fun with her friends and what the deal with Ginger Spice was back then. I wish I could ask my mom about everything I don't know.
I would tell her I needed her and that I had messed up bad, that I needed her help. I would tell her how scared I was of not surviving past the winter solstice. I'd give anything to be able to talk to her. The clock was ticking, what do I do? Am I joining my mom too?
CONTINUES IN PART 2
